My First ME Post!
So I’m derping around on the computer, supposed to be working but whatever. Found this awesome website called hyperbole and a half. This chick is super funny. But my favorite part so far is how she made up her own pain chart for the doctors office.
0: Hi. I am not experiencing any pain at all. I don’t know why I’m even here.
1: I am completely unsure whether I am experiencing pain or itching or maybe I just have a bad taste in my mouth.
2: I probably just need a Band Aid.
3: This is distressing. I don’t want this to be happening to me at all.
4: My pain is not fucking around.
5: Why is this happening to me??
6: Ow. Okay, my pain is super legit now.
7: I see Jesus coming for me and I’m scared.
8: I am experiencing a disturbing amount of pain. I might actually be dying. Please help.
9: I am almost definitely dying.
10: I am actively being mauled by a bear.
11: Blood is going to explode out of my face at any moment.
Too Serious For Numbers: You probably have ebola. It appears that you may also be suffering from Stigmata and/or pinkeye.
I think we’re gonna post this on the wall of our home as a guide for our children to rate their pain.
Keep Calm And Carry On: An Appreciation Post for My Husband #17.
So one of My Husbands brothers has a new woman, I guess they are getting pretty serious so we went over to have dinner with this couple and another one of his siblings and her spouse.
I get along pretty well with my sister-in-law, so we’re catching up. Shes telling me about a new romance series…
I guess the new girl didn’t pass the girls club initiation ceremony… XD Poor taste!
Uh no, no she didn’t and my wife forgot to mention the part where she kept getting her boobs in her food. How is that something that happens? I mean I guess I can understand when your leaning over and you accidentally brush against your plate, but this girl just sets her boobs on the table right next to her plate. It was distressing
xheartxfeltx-deactivated2012122 asked: TAG. YOU’RE IT. The rules are to state 10 random facts about yourself. Then, go to your ten favourite blogs and tell them that they are it!
WHAT SORCERY IS THIS!!!! You know I can’t resist talking about myself! why do you do this to me!
!. I was born in the city of Safed, Isreal.
2. We immigrated here when I was a teenager. I am a citizen now.
3. I am 7th of 12 children.
4. I speak 3 languages.
5. I was only a few months out of law school when I helped the woman who would become my wife get our children.
6. I play World of Warcraft like it’s a religion.
7. My Wife is teaching me to play the guitar.
8. I cannot cook, not even to save my own life.
9. The thought of being a father still scares the poo out of me, but it is one of my favorite jobs.
10. My Wife and I scare strangers in public when we start getting really sarcastic at each other. People think were getting ready to fight.
Hey Babe!
Would you like to play a game?
MWHAHAHAHAHA
No babe, this is Ikki!
Anonymous asked: honestly, i'm only following you because of your wife! :)
Oh so she makes you do things against your will too?
The Message My Wife Left Me
Guess what husband…youre still married to me! mwhahahaha I own you!!!! And half of everything you earn! MWHAHAHA
Keep Calm And Carry On: An Appreciation Post for my Husband #12.
ME: “Hey guess what babe, I got my first Anon hate message today!”
MY HUSBAND: “Oh no way! Lets see it!”
MY HUSBAND: “Wow, that spelling is top notch!”
ME: “I know! It’s like trying to decipher a license plate, I sat here for a few minutes trying to figure out what they were saying.”
MY…
Keep Calm And Carry On: Diary of a Pregnant Lady
So whoever coined the term “Morning Sickness” is a fucking LIAR!
It does not just happen in the morning, It does not go away as the day goes on. Your stomach is riding its own roller coaster aaalllll ttthhhhheeee tttiiiimmmmeeeee!
I spend so much time in the bathroom that my husband has set…
An Appreciation Post for my Husband #13.
MY HUSBAND: “I read a funny E-card today.”
ME: “Oh yeah, what made this one special?”
MY HUSBAND: “It reminded me that if you give birth to our child without a c-sec, Its face will be rubbing against the inside of your vag.
ME: “…”
MY HUSBAND: “…”
ME: “Cesarian Section it is!”
